The following is a retranslation of some famous biblical passages into the language of popular subtext.

1 Corinthians 13

Original — by St. Paul
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love,
I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
If I have prophetic powers and understand all mysteries and all knowledge,
and if I have faith that moves mountains, but have not love,
I am nothing.
If I give away all I have and give up my body
to be burned, but do not have love,
I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud or rude.
It does not insist on its own way;
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends.
But as for prophecies, they will pass away;
as for tongues, they will cease;
as for knowledge, it will pass away. 
For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
but when the perfect comes,
the partial will disappear.
When I was a child,
I spoke like a child, I thought like a child,
I reasoned like a child. When I became a man,
I gave up childish ways. For now
we see in a mirror dimly;
but then we shall see face-to-face. Now I know in part;
then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
So now abide these three: faith, hope and love;
but the greatest of these is love.


Subtextified — by Me

Don’t say anything unusual or incoherent, because talking normally
is how people decide to pay attention to you.
Don’t think so much, don’t think for yourself, don’t believe anything odd,
don’t stand up and be bold—because if you have a strong personality,
You are not worth loving.
Even if you do absolutely everything for God, resenting everything you own and your body,
but you don’t do it sweetly enough to please everyone,
God and everyone watching will resent you.
Love hides emotions, love is saccharine.
It has no desires, it has no individuality,
it speaks lowly of itself and lives to be courteous,
hidden in fear and shame.
Love never speaks up, it turns a blind eye, it never talks back to those above it.
Love judges how you feel about things you don’t like.
Love requires you be perfect: so never let go of anything.
If you end your shame, no one will love you.
But as for science, it doesn’t matter;
open hearts fall flat;
knowledge is selfish.
For we will not tolerate being stretched uncomfortably—
for we are too meager to try to be anything;
when we’re finally dead, we will ascend to our fantasies,
our Disneyland. When I was a child,
I was free and brave and creative,
I saw everything with authenticity. When I became an adult,
I gave up hope and calcified into a shadow.
Don’t make me reflect on myself!
The meaning of life is to be used.
I’ll find true love by detaching from everything real, living my life waiting to die.
So now I bind myself to these three: idealism, apathy and shame;
but the greatest of these is shame.



I will say that I love most of this passage—for its flowing language, its poetry, the truths it expresses. I do not love what is tacitly inferred according to crude principles. I might even disagree with Paul in some points. I definitely don’t like how easily it lends itself to soppy Hallmark cards. If I am right in intramurally identifying un-Christlike Christian interpretations, then that means that the passage means something else. Who am I to say what Paul actually meant? Isn’t that the whole point during our life, to discover, not to know fully; to love, not to own? I must admit that this passage is so resonant with me that it was hard to slander poor interpretations with an embarrassing rendering. At some points, my heart was filled with bright feelings, and I wished not to say anything negative. But there have been far too many brainwarped Christians, and I want to share what I have learned, so that the passage may sparkle brightly for itself. Whether the sparkling comes from gems or dog piss is yours to decide.


October 20, 2020
Arroyo Grande